she woke up with a sticky ear
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
