I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
