I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
