I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i drank out of a bidet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
