whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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