She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
