Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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