I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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