I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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