You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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