dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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