i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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