me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
