I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
