She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
