Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
