I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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