Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
