If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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