I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
