What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
