At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize