Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
