So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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