people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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