dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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