Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
