We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
