honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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