Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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