I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
