do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize