im drinking this country out of the recession.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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