Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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