ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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