help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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