and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
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I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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