and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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