Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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