New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
