You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
