I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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