This girl is more easily done than said...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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