I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Welp...herpes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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