..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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