I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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