yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
