so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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