I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
one might say we're banned from that church
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ladies don't puke and tell
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize