her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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