Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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