i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
