my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
