So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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