if i can run in heels then i can drive
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Im part way to drunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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