You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
