I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
