I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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