Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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